Austin Cooper walks us through his gym routine. From jumping rope to curling iron, it’s no wonder he’s so pumped. Ty Alexander, as we all know, sports a more natural physique. Flat chest, undefined abs, slim arms and legs. But there’s something about this dude...something sadistic. You almost get the feeling he’d be the most fun to tangle with. Austin Cooper is about to find out…
Soon we’re on the old mat, worked out gym rat vs. natural sadist. Hm. Wonder how this is gonna go down.
Alexander moves and maneuvers Cooper all over the mat, using those unremarkable legs to actually lift the bigger dude up and over. Sure, Cooper breaks free, giving him full on ass-to-ass Boston crab realness, but who didn’t see that coming. A camel clutch leaves Alexander speechless, while Cooper finishes his reps.
“NOW I’m ready to wrestle!” says Cooper. It was nice knowing you, Ty Alexander. Hopefully it won’t be too long before the night janitor comes in to mop up his remains from the mat.
Total Run-time: 22 minutes
Ty Alexander vs. Austin Cooper (From The Vault)
Me and Ty can’t agree who was responsible for the success of our last match. Austin Cooper doesn’t want to take sides, until I insult his pathetic piledriver and weak double bicep pose. I challenge Ty and Austin to a poseoff/piledriver comparison contest and instantly regret it when Austin loses his cool, stripping down to his speedo and throwing poor Ty into the ring to demolish him. It’s okay, I think. We’re still friends.
Austin strips Ty, then hoists him off his feet as punishment for talkin’ trash. I try to intervene, but sometimes you just gotta let men fight it out. Ty eats mat, get slung over Austin’s shoulders, eats mat again. It’s okay, I think. We’re still friends.
Ty is scissored, figure foured, and full nelsoned. The poor kid looks like he might not survive the schooling Austin’s dishing out. I’m okay with letting it happen... until Austin pulls out a metal folding chair to bash our buddy...that’s when I finally step in. After all, we’re all still friends here. Aren’t we? AREN’T WE? Sometimes it’s honestly hard to tell.